DAMN YOU KANYE!!!

Well here I am, at home on a Friday for the first time in months. And I don't mean off from work or school, or whatever, I mean at home, not going anywhere, staying here (attempting) to take care of certain things, that will probably have to be on the backburner for tomorrow, since I do not have the proper materials to acquire what I need to get.

And as I type my second blog of the day, while my 4 year old niece Amaya, is screaming profusely in my ear, making up stories in her mind...I sit here at a complex.

The complex that for one, I hate my teeth with a passion due to the growing cavities, not good. But also, I sit here dealing with my burning frustrations in my life.

Before I get to those, let me just say something about Kanye West. These last couple months or in fact the last year, despite the fact that he suffered two terrible losses in his life, one being the death of his mother, Dr. Donda West, and the split between him and his girlfriend Alexis. But lately, I just feel a bit peeved at his recent actions. With his arrogance getting the best of his decision-making, being that he can NEVER take a defeat in stride, or his recent run-ins with paparazzi and feeling the need to make bitch moves and attack them. Man, I wish I could fight somebody, so my stance can be justified at least.



The bottom line is this. 808's and Heartbreaks (Kanye's new album) is ten days away, ready to compete with Ludacris' and The Killers' new discs, and what makes this album so different from his other albums are that all of the songs are of him crooning, while his melodies are saturated with Auto-Tune effects. As if we didn't need another T-Pain roaming the universe or we didn't need another dickrider jockin' off others' style (Lil' Wayne). While "Love Lockdown" and "Heartless" have GROWN on me, I have been a bit curious about "Coldest Winter" and "Robocop" while both have received mixed reviews so far. Either way, I have a feeling that "808's and Heartbreaks" is going to be THAT album...that album where Kanye officially falls off. Not to say it will fall off based on content or creativity, but this might be the moment where Ye has officially lost his mind...to where he has let his emotions and his depression overcome him to the point where he does the unthinkable.

Now back to me, I just feel the need to wanna write something (in musical form) that in turn helps me with the problems that I am going through, much like how this new album filters through all the personal struggles Ye has experienced over the last year. Problem has been that nothing has come out. I don't ever wanna say WRITER'S BLOCK....writer's block is my enemy. I DON'T wanna say that I am burned out...because otherwise, I wouldn't be working on these new projects 24/7. I don't know, something just feels missing. Maybe, I haven't been myself (music-wise). Maybe I am getting lost in this shuffle of Milwaukee rappers, with absolutely no idea what direction I want to take. I been trying my hardest to figure out what kind of sound I want my music to go towards, that in the process, I let others pass me by. I can't let that happen much longer.

However, I have gotten to the point, where I have seen so many people brown-nose their way to the top, to where I been declined by others for help, I don't really belong within a particular circle of artists, I work with anyone that has that same drive as I do with music. Which is why I work with my close personal friends. While some see it as a business, I see it as MUCH MORE than that. Other than this, this music is the only way I can express myself freely. Where I feel that whatever I say in a song makes sense more than a regular conversation. Where much like this blog, I am able to put all of my thoughts into a 16-bar verse, than I could in sixteen minutes of muffled jibber-jabber. It's already bad enough that I stutter, lol.

Anyways, this blog has gotten towards Rant Mode, so all I have to say is, anyone that reads this, understand my plight, and if you understand and sympathize for me, then thank you, and it would really mean a lot if I heard your opinions on what I just stated.

....God, I hate cavities...aight its off to write that song and finish that damn reading...