WORN OUT AND WEARING THIN...

Right now, at this moment, at 2 in the morning, I enjoy a re-run of Living Single, while blasting the newest Slaughterhouse tracks into my ears, trying to acquire inspiration to write...yet honestly nothing is coming out.

More because I am gearing up for the busiest five days of this year. Not only do I have a presentation to prepare for Monday afternoon, but I also have an exam on Monday, a three-page rough draft to ready for Wednesday, not to mention D2L responses due both Monday AND Wednesday, and with the idea that my hours at work are gonna be crazy this weekend.

I really do not know how I let myself end up in situations that I know I probably can't handle without SERIOUS focus and concentration. The idea that so many distractions surround my everyday life (and I am only referring to the negative ones) that everything becomes a mixed bag of mishandled priorities.

I know what you are thinking...woe is me...what else is new???...that's liffffeeee....well I come to realize life's a bitch and I hate it. lol. There's so many things that I wanna do in the next couple of months, that due to life firmly choking me and my motivation, I never have the time to do it.

Is it the adult in me talking...am I taking a page from Adrianne's handbook and starting to complain?

I mean, there's nothing more that I would like other than to write 24/7 with no interruptions, be able to see Adrianne on an everyday basis, be able to kick it wit friends everyday, be able to do GOOD in school, be able to draw, have conversations with my mother....but in all reality, my life is the opposite of everything that I want.

It's not to say having responsibilities is bad for me, who in the world has that mindframe....Will???....but the point is...there are often times I miss being a kid. Not having to worry about those kind of things, be able to live care-free. But the time comes, when the clock begins to wind down quicker and quicker.

I guess that's why I have taken comfort in reading Amanda's blogs as of late, to not only realize that some of why she writes everyday has to do with advice I gave her (hence, she's 2 1/2 years older than me) but that it also reminds me of the things you encounter when living in that kind of world.

Not only that, but to actually take something like my blog, look back and witness the progression I have made in my thought process. Now I only wish Adrianne could write more and not keep so many things bottled up, but that's her prerogative.

Although for me, I only have one foot in so far. With me being 23 for a week now...I guess it is becoming more vivid as to what I need to do to better myself, the hard part is to finally get my ass up and do it.

Man......how the fuck emo am I?